Does your Wolpertinger Linger?
No, this isn’t about an achievement in World of Warcraft, I promise. It just seemed fitting as I’m thinking about how good versus negative feelings tend to linger.
Each week I subject myself to a variable number of struggles. I know I’ve talked about struggles versus victories, but the feelings one has about the struggles linger a lot longer than those one has on victories. At least that’s the experience that I have.
Yesterday was weigh-in day. Every Monday, before breakfast, but after other morning necessities, I stand on my scale in my kitchen and hold my breath. I have a wonderful scale, it’s digital, takes about five seconds, and magically displays a digitized number for me to gawk at. So far, all but one week since I began LiveFit Revolution, have I been pleased with what I saw. Yesterday I was especially pleased, because I had been expecting a bad number. I had another loss, which was exciting for me. So that started my day off right!
Yesterday was also Canada’s Thanksgiving. I am married to a Canadian, therefore we spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family in Windsor. We had such a nice visit. Mom made turkey, with all the fixins, and I was prepared! I packed my fruit and nut snack to take with me, and ate it along the way. I brought my own salad dressing and some sunflower seeds for my salad. Mom asked specifically what I could and couldn’t have on my current nutrition plan, and she accommodated me happily. I love my mother in law, so very much.
I did well. My plate had my salad on it, and white meat turkey. Probably more than my 5 ounce portion, but I wasn’t going to nitpick details. It’s Thanksgiving! However, there were temptations. The smell of fresh baked buns. I love those buns. So I had one. That was my only downfall during the meal. Dessert was pies that I made. Sugar free pumpkin pie and no sugar added apple pie. I can have apples. The filling had nothing in it that isn’t on my current nutrition plan. So I had a slice, and even managed to not eat much of the crust. Originally I was going to set aside filling without crust for myself, but figured I could avoid the crust if I try. My downfall there came later on, when I wanted more. So I had more, but could not keep myself from eating the crust.
Then! On the way home, I had to stop at the gas station. I wanted to go in and fill my water bottle with ice, and maybe get some tea or something. I walked out with a water bottle full of Diet Pepsi, and a Reese’s Halloween pumpkin, which was devoured right there in the parking lot. I cursed my weakness. All those positive feelings from the morning faded away with my ridiculous internal dialog. “You did so WELL today why couldn’t you avoid that chocolate?? You idiot! You wrecked your day!” Yeah, I am a LOT harder on myself than others are.
I told mom and dad during dinner, that my choices are always made with this in mind. “Is this something I feel good about posting to the LiveFit Forums?” And typically that keeps me on track. This is yet another reason I LOVE the LiveFit program. Nobody scolds. They encourage and motivate and make me want to do well. They ALL know that a scolding is only going to lead into more emotional eating, and is not going to help anyone whatsoever. So the comments are something like “You slipped up, okay, now move on and get back on track.” And lots more like that. Which makes me feel good. It also keeps me from kicking myself into a downward spiral of self destructive choices.
I have great friends, not only there but in a place called LegacyLand which is full of women from all walks of life, in various places in the world, who love and comfort and motivate one another. How blessed am I? I am blessed in ways many people could not even imagine. I have spent so much of the last 10 years lamenting that I don’t have many friends, but truth is, I have some of the BEST friends anyone could ask for. Even if they don’t live close by and can’t go for coffee on a weekly basis.
How did this post go from talking about the lingering struggles, to counting blessings? That’s the fun thing about writing without a goal. It’s okay to let the thoughts out and share them with others. I was going to talk about how my struggles last night have kept nagging at me, but as I write this, I realize that they really aren’t nagging at me. I AM back on track today and I will overcome the struggle and it won’t linger nearly as long as I thought. 🙂
The 40 Year Struggle 
CeeCee said,
October 12, 2010 at 7:17 PM
Congratulations on doing such a great job of restraining yourself at Thanksgiving dinner. Sure, I know that you were beating yourself up over the chocolate but really, that one piece of chocolate is not going to be your downfall. NOTE: I said one piece of chocolate. 😀
Instead, look at the great job you did with the rest of the meal. Your MiL asking about your food options is a strong indication of your great moral support system. She, Jadawin, LiveFit, this blog and the LL Ladies are all in your corner cheering you on. With that kind of cheer leading squad how can you help but be successful? *hugs*
Angelia said,
October 13, 2010 at 3:51 PM
:”> Aww … we’re happy to be there for you, girl! With our struggles and victories as well. 🙂 But I was right there with you on the thoughts, imagining myself in your shoes during Thanksgiving. I was imagining myself at my Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities. I have no self-control, but I’m trying to eat smaller portions. But … we’ll see how well I do come November and December.
sarianastar said,
October 13, 2010 at 4:57 PM
Thanks ladies. Self control is the biggest problem for all of us I think. I can’t always keep myself from being ‘good’ as it were. I’m trying, and that’s really all we can do each day, day by day. 🙂
I was actually surprised that I don’t get hungry constantly on the nutrition plan I’m on. There’s one woman in the program who is down over 100 pounds in 7 months, others down 60 and 70. It’s remarkable to me and gives me hope for myself. 🙂
Linda said,
October 16, 2010 at 6:24 PM
Keep up the good work…sometimes you just have to have a little chocolate in life!